IT’S A MIRACLE

You can probably imagine how I’ve been feeling in the past few months if you knew that I have finally conceived a healthy baby. While this incredible miracle is growing inside my body, I had to hold back my excitement while all I wanted to do is scream it out to the world. I am going to be a mom real soon!! We are going to have a little family of our own. This dream of many years is literally coming to fruition.

There’s been some anxious energy for a little while, just until the first blood test, then the first heartbeat, then the first visual of a little human growing healthily in my belly. Now there is such a sense of release and joy as I’ve gone past the sensitive time of a pregnancy. Make no mistake, I’m aware of potential risks, but I just want to hang nicely in this moment and time of making my dream come true.

Every baby is a miracle! No doubt about that! This little one took a while to find his/her way towards us. While we were figuring out a bunch of things. Science had a hell of a lot to do with this, but I also believe that my mind set, attitude, general approach to the whole thing was equally responsible for finally getting pregnant.

You name it I’ve done the work around it. Most of it was accepting the current situation and being whole with that. Whatever the current situation was at that time. Many things I couldn’t change, and that alone took a deep and honest acknowledgment, few of the things I had to change were mostly in my mind and not any major habits or behaviours. If you would speak to a doctor, he/she would say: “Well, we acquired a new donor and that is exactly why it worked this time”. If you ask a spiritual guide, they will tell you it was the divine time, if you ask me, I became ready to be ready to be ready.

Everything happens for a reason. I know that to be true. Yet, I too question the delay of the arrival of this gift in my ungrateful moments, and yes, I do have these moments from time to time. I am human after all. All the other moments of gratitude are the ones that give me peace, but the moments of doubt find their way into my space every now and then, thankfully the work is continuing to happen, I continue to learn, and my heart stays open and curious for what is about to unfold. Staying connected with my close friends for support and for sharing those moments of anxiety, kept me sane and true to what is.

In different conversations, I notice fear of individuals projected at me, this happens all the time if you just pay attention. People will communicate with you from their place of experience and sometime their own limitations. It is important to know what’s theirs and what may be yours too, so you can work through it starting with a simple acknowledgment that this is in fact so.

I just read an interesting post from Dr Nicole LePera (Psychologist) about parentification- when a child is made to fill an adult role and the effect it has on them as adults. One of my limiting beliefs around falling pregnant, was that I am too old. Even more so, that a parent should be young, in their 20’s. Now I know you’re thinking this is absurd, (especially in this day and age, as our population of maternal women is getting older, whether it is career or simply not finding the right partner to have that experience with) my logical mind agrees it is absurd, but my emotional brain the conditioned one, has been brought up by very young parents, that have soon asked me to fill in their role (unaware of course, as they had to do exactly the same when they were children) that simply left me with a strong deep belief that new parents are meant to be young. Not past the age of 30 anyways. That took a long dacade to work through. Here I am about to celebrate my 49th birthday and I am 3.5months pregnant.

I’d say that miracle came from a bit of science, mixed with letting go of old belief and trusting that the universe has my back, together with a ton of self-love and self-worth that had to be re- established.

There is not one moment that brought about this result, it’s a chain of actions that brought me here. And that is my success story. That is my achievement for this year, and I am so excited to share that with you. Please know that I am here to help whoever might be struggling through their fertility journey. So don’t hesitate to share my story with someone you know or perhaps if it is you.

 

Thank you for being here❤️

Maya xo

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Self Love programs

Ask for help, not because you are weak, but because you want to remain strong.

Les Brown